Check your Profile

Its another Friday night and you have made plans yet again with your couch your favorite snack and reading the profiles of men on a dating app your co worker told you about. As you swipe from profile to profile you seem to feel more self conflicted about what it is you are looking for. You hear the chatter about how important it is finding a descent man to have in your life and the thought you aren’t getting any younger echos through your mind like a voice in a hollow hallway, and reminds you of all the chaos thats been going on inside your head about finding the right one. We often search through profiles to match a persons criteria with our motive. We place expectations on each profile we swipe and read because maybe if how you think they should be is who they will become. Im here to tell you its time to stop setting expectations in unrealistic situations and conquer becoming your own expectation.

Its time to Check your self Profile!!

So why would you need to check your Profile if you are signed into your account daily. Now when I say account I’m talking about you and your mentality. You are the account manager of your life and have the authority to change how you view things.

Now that you have been reminded you are in control of how you think , have you adjusted how you think about things in your personal life before trying to share that space with someone else? Often women encounter trying to fill voids in their life so they wont be left to deal with the feeling of being alone and often leads them to rush into a commitment that will leave them shattered. Im here to give some points on ways to set our own goals in our own personal life to keep our profiles in check. I call these points R.E.S.E.T (Release Expose Share Evaluate and Transform )

When you release something from yourself you are allowing yourself to become free from whatever had you shackled. You are looking through the dating app and all you can think about is how someone did you in a previous relationship, and feel that someone new will do the same thing. Learning to release the thoughts of previous Trauma will allow you to heal mentally and work on how you will better yourself and become more focused on how yo want to be treated versus how you were treated. Find ways or ideas that can help you ditch those badgering thoughts of past experiences so your mind can properly heal from past trauma.

You dont want to seem vulnerable or pout about what has happened like

a kid who lost their phone privileges, so you tend to hide in your thoughts instead of speaking about them and tackling the cause of your love being lost. Exposing your thoughts and speaking about why you fear being hurt again will help you to narrate your self worth better so you know what not to settle for again. It can also open an inner dialogue with your mind and your heart to function together according to what you desire and not what you fear.

To share is to care. When you share your past experiences from bad relationships you are allowing yourself to write a new narrative about how you want things for your future relationship to be. You don’t want to hold those feelings in and become a prisoner to them. You have to care about how you feel on the inside just as well as the outside. Sharing those feelings will help you form a personal chart of what you no longer will accept and focus on what is acceptable.

Now when you look into your dating agenda all you can think about is all the bulletin points you made about what you want out of a relationship but did not mention what you can give to the relationship. It’s time you Evaluate what you are expecting out of the relationship and work on what you can offer to it. Look at your points and incorporate ways that you can contribute to a new Romance. You want to be able to physically mentally and emotionally provide someone with the same energy you rely on them to give you. Evaluating what you typically want someone to offer you in a relationship and what you are willing to give can publish a new way to help you work on your role contributing to your future love life.

Now that you have gotten bored of looking through profiles and swiping left because you aren’t interested in any of these profiles you can now turn on your ‘This is not what i am going to settle for attitude’. Its time to tansform into the women you are graduating to be. Your degree plan might have consisted of heart broken classes or Self identity finals and even purchases for text books on how to move on from bad moments that have happened in your life. When you take off the doubt of ‘ are you going to love again’ wardrobe you will be supplied with options on how you can work on dressing yourself with love. Transform yourself to be someone who is willing to love themself so you can offer the same love you want to receive.

What you put into the universe will come back to you. Working on ourself and learning to RESET will help to build your self confidence back up in your personal life, set goals about your dating objectives , and erasing thoughts of what we expected to get from love and work on being our own expectation on how to give love.

Written By Davonne Houston

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